


Be Careful What You Wish For

by Measured



Category: Hikaru no Go, Naruto, xxxHoLic
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-09
Updated: 2011-11-09
Packaged: 2017-11-08 10:36:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/442282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured/pseuds/Measured
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shindou meets a dimensional witch and meets Sai. The only problem was, he didn't specify which one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Careful What You Wish For

**Author's Note:**

> fic_promptly: any, devilish.

Shindou always felt down around this time of the year. When most of the country was celebrating, he'd get far-off looks, his mind lost in past years. He wasn't desperate anymore, but sometimes he'd just wonder _what if..._

That was what had lead him here, and what started the mess in the first place.

He wasn't sure what made him go into the house, probably some chintzy shop. It was a Victorian house in the middle of nowhere. The house was clean, if not cluttered. He wondered what a place like this could sell, and what he could be doing here, and even why he was stepping forward. He could get his mom a souvenir, he supposed. Or get Touya one, though he'd probably take it the wrong way, just like always.

A tall, elegant woman greeted him. She had cleavage which was practically spilling out of her low-necked fancy black dress, and Shindou politely did not look at her breasts. It wasn't that hard, really. Well, actually it sort of was, given that there was so much of them.

She looked more than a little inebriated, and it wasn't even noon yet.

There were a pair of twins running around in strange clothing, sort of creepy, actually–and something which looked like what would happen if a meatbun and a rabbit ever had a love child together. It chirped something about sake and danced away.

He craned his neck to see, but there weren't any shelves with things laid out, and none of the fixtures had any price tags on them. Yet somehow, he intrinsically knew that this was a shop.

"What does this place sell, anyways?" Shindou asked.

She smiled, enigmatically. The effect would've been greater had their not been a bottle of wine in her left hand, and another balanced in her vast amounts of cleavage.

"Wishes," she said.

"Sorry, I've barely got enough for the fare home as it is," Shindou said, turning to go.

Also he was starting to wonder if the _wishes_ she granted didn't involve ah, _happy endings._

"Something must have brought you here, so it is inevitable that you were to come here," she said. She had a large pipe now with smoke lazily rising. Shindou hadn't seen where she could've gotten it, considering there was no room in her skintight dress

Maybe she'd pulled the pipe out of her cleavage as well? There was enough cleavage to hide the lost island of Atlantis and still have room for the city of El-Dorado while they were at it.

"So you will pay?" She asked.

"I don't really have money–"

She chuckled. "This is not a payment with money. Things, thoughts, memories, _feelings_ — those are the payments this shop stocks."

Shindou tried to fit through his mind how one would sell a feeling. He could not imagine that price tag listing, unless it was 'good feelings'–though those weren't exactly legal...

"Sai," he said without even meaning to say it. His mind was telling him he should walk away from this weirdness, but something kept him back–and no, it wasn't her cleavage.

She brought out a staff and below her were stars and moons and runic inscriptions. Up from the either came a form, a person, and then—

A tall boy who wore a lot of mesh and revealed a lot of skin, and looked like an emo rent boy.

"Penis," he said as a greeting.

"That's not Sai!" Shindou protested.

"What's your name?" The witch asked.

"Sai," the boy responded.

"See?" She said. _"Sai."_

"But he's not _my_ Sai," Shindou protested. "Sai wasn't a rent boy! And he didn't say penis all the time."

She pointed to the _No Refunds. Wishes May Backfire And Result In Terrible Death. Haunt Me And I'll Make You Wear a Dress **Beeetch**_ sign. It was right next to a _Home Sweet Home_ plaque and a picture of kittens.

"Actually he's a ninja," she said slyly.

"A Rentboy ninja?" Shindou asked.

"Maybe he just likes to feel pretty," She suggested.

Shindou looked to Sai for some kind of clue.

He smiled. "Penis!"

He saw he wasn't going to get any answers there.

She clapped her hands. "Watanuki! Show them out!"

A tall thin bespectacled boy in a French maid outfit and cat ears came stomping out. He did not looked pleased. In fact, he looked like he owned the patent on not being pleased, and the copyright therein.

"He was off visiting his boyfriend instead of working~ What a delinquent!" The witch laughed. "Watanuki has to wear his new uniform until he pays for the debt of time~"

"Delinquent! Delinquent!" Chimed in the twin girls, and the rabbit meatbun thing.

 _"He's not my boyfriend!"_ He screeched. Inexplicably, Shindou was reminded of Touya.

And so Shindou found himself with a rentboy ninja–or perhaps a ninja who just liked to feel pretty on the sidewalk.

"Uh....do you play Go?" Shindou said.

"Penis," the fake ninja Sai said thoughtfully.

"Can you even say anything other than penis?!" Shindou burst out in irritation.

Sai shrugged. "I could, but where's the fun in that?"

Shindou growled in frustration, the same sort he'd heard Touya do before. Most of the time. Okay, every Wednesday. He shoved his hands in his pants pockets and stalked ahead, trying to figure out what to do.

Sai followed after him, determined and keeping up pace for pace. He couldn't outrun him, or hide from him, given that this weird, perverted alternate dimension Sai was a ninja.

Shindou wondered if there was a Better Business Bureau for magical shops with drunken witches who gave him the wrong person.

Then again, she'd probably hex him out of spite. Shindou couldn't win for losing.

He looked back at his new companion. Perverted Ninja Sai stared back, his face an expressionless mask.

"So...I'll teach you how to play Go if you teach me how to be a ninja," Shindou said.

Rentboy Sai seemed to think on this a long moment, then nodded.

"Deal," The other Sai said.

Shindou may have given up soccer and traditional friends for the sake of Go, but he was still a teenager at heart.


End file.
